The Peace of Rage

War (La Guerre) by Henri Rousseau, 1894.

Words: Melinda Temple

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Rage, often described as a heightened form of anger, is a visceral, full-body experience that can feel overwhelming, even uncontrollable. It’s fast, fiery and fierce – a fight-or-flight response that kicks in when something essential to our sense of self is under threat.

While society often paints rage as dangerous or destructive, particularly in women, there is a more nuanced truth: rage is also a signal, a survival mechanism and – when engaged with consciously – a source of clarity, agency and transformation.

Rage as a Creative and Protective Force
At its core, rage is biologically designed to protect us. It emerges in response to perceived violations – of our values, our boundaries, our bodies and our dignity. While uncomfortable, rage contains valuable information: something deeply important to us is at risk. Leaning into rage with curiosity, rather than fear, allows us to decode its message. We might ask ourselves: What value is being threatened?; Where am I feeling this in my body?; What was the trigger?; and, Why now?

By connecting these emotional signals with our inner beliefs and values, we begin to understand our own boundaries more clearly. Rage, then, becomes a tool for self-knowledge. It can awaken us to what we need to protect, change, or let go of.

Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche made the distinction between “ressentiment” – a passive, poisonous resentment – and the more active, creative anger that can generate energy for change. Similarly, Audre Lorde argued that “women’s anger is not only legitimate ... it is a tool for change.” Rage, when processed and expressed intentionally, becomes a force for resistance and renewal – not just for the individual, but for society.

The Social Policing of Rage
Despite its transformative potential, rage remains one of the most policed emotions, especially for women. While men have long been permitted – even expected – to express anger as a sign of strength or dominance, women’s rage has been pathologised, silenced or ridiculed. Historically, women who displayed anger were labeled “hysterical,” “irrational,” or “emotional,” terms weaponised to delegitimise both their feelings and their voices. In the late 1800s, many women were institutionalised for “hysteria” – a diagnosis we now recognise as rooted in trauma and, often, sexual violence. As Judith Herman’s Trauma and Recovery details, Sigmund Freud originally linked women’s “hysteria” to real, pervasive abuse before revising his theory under social pressure.

Meanwhile, men have suffered a different kind of emotional repression. Social norms grant them permission to express rage but deny them access to vulnerability, sadness, fear or tenderness. Without emotional literacy for the full spectrum of feelings, men are often left with rage as their only acceptable outlet – leading to aggressive rather than assertive expressions of emotion. This rigid binary harms everyone.

Judith by Jan Sanders van Hemessen, 1540.

Durga kills the buffalo demon. Gouache painting, 1800s.

Gender, Power and the Silencing of Female Rage
The suppression of female rage is not just psychological – it is political. In a patriarchal system where men are allowed to be angry and women are expected to be agreeable, the denial of female rage serves to maintain control. Silencing women’s outrage disempowers them, keeps them quiet and reinforces inequality.

When women internalise this suppression, it doesn’t mean the rage disappears – it simply goes underground. It may show up as depression, anxiety, self-doubt or chronic stress. Rage turned inward becomes shame and erodes self-worth. As feminist psychologists and trauma researchers have shown, reclaiming the right to be angry is crucial to healing from both individual and collective trauma.

Fortunately, this narrative is beginning to shift. Today’s more gender-fluid, emotionally aware society is redefining what it means to be strong. Younger generations are building healthier emotional vocabularies that make space for vulnerability in men and anger in women. Feminist movements have helped legitimise female anger as not only normal but necessary. Books like Rebecca Traister’s Good and Mad and Soraya Chemaly’s Rage Becomes Her* argue that rage is a rational response to centuries of injustice – and a catalyst for change.

The Risks of Unregulated Rage
Of course, not all rage is productive. When unchecked, it can lead to violence, emotional harm or social breakdown. This is why many philosophical and psychological traditions – from the Stoics to mindfulness-based therapies – emphasise regulation, not suppression.

The Stoics believed that anger disrupts reason and perspective and that mastering it is essential for inner peace. Contemporary thinkers like Myisha Cherry distinguish between blind rage and righteous anger. The former destroys, while the latter illuminates.

To engage with rage constructively, we must learn to recognise its patterns, triggers and somatic expressions.

What Lies Beneath the Rage?
Beneath rage lies something sacred – the violation of what we value most. Whether it’s autonomy, safety, dignity, fairness or love, rage shows up when these are disrespected or denied. The question then becomes:

What do we want our rage to do? Will it destroy or transform?

When we honour rage, we create space for healing and action. When we listen to what’s underneath it, we find a path to clarity. And when we integrate its message into our lives, we become more whole.

Rage as a Path to Awakening
Rage, far from being a flaw or failure, is a deeply human emotion that can be a powerful teacher. It tells us when our boundaries are being crossed, when injustice is present and when something within us is demanding to be acknowledged. For too long, we have shamed or feared this emotion, particularly in women.

But if we can approach rage with curiosity, not condemnation – if we can learn to listen to it rather than silence it – we may discover within it not chaos, but clarity. Not destruction, but direction. In calming our rage through understanding, we can unleash it not in harm, but in service of healing, change and liberation.

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